As a real alcoholic, I know what is necessary for people like me who have a desire to quit drinking.
A spiritual experience. That is the only thing that will get real alcoholics of the hopeless variety sober. I was one of those. I haven't had that sudden spiritual experience, (only once in 1978) but I feel that I am growing toward my God daily, and doing life the right way. I have a patience and tolerance I haven't had for the last 15 years or so. I have found that love is the father of my growing patience and tolerance. I just love alcoholics like me, whether they are sober, or are drinking with a desire to quit it. I have been there. I have cried rivers of tears because I was drinking when I didn't want to drink. But I would drink anyway. My body needed alcohol to function, and my brain needed it to think. There were countless times, like the last 13 years, that I had no control when it came to booze. Today, I will talk to any drunk. If they ask for help, or just want to talk, I will offer that. All alcoholics, sober or not need to know that they are still loved. From whatever source, I just know that someday, an alcoholic that drank like me can recover. I would say that source is God, or a Higher Power.
I feel that if I distance myself from these types of alcoholics, I place a resistor between my self my the God of my understanding. Do I think of self preservation? All the time. I just don't pick up a drink. I saw recently someone try to prevent someone from drinking. They wanted all the alcohol out of a house where an alcoholic was drinking. They were going to buy more alcohol anyway. We sometimes forget that probably no human power could relieve anyones real alcoholism. If I can just show any real alcoholic that I love and care about them whether they are sober or not, maybe they would like to learn to love unconditionally also. I believe it would just be a better world. It would also lower our collective blood pressure. With that, maybe we will love, and live longer.
If you love an alcoholic, keep it up. Be consistent, honest and dependable. Be there. Be a part of a possible miracle if you can. AA is a program of helping. Meetings are good. But it's more important what we do in our giving before and after meetings that's most important. Practice these principles in all our affairs. If it were not for people who stopped by to visit and show me that they still cared even when I was drinking, I know I would be dead. I am only a messenger, don't shoot me...