Alcoholic Brain

Hi and thanks for visiting. I have an alcoholic brain. I will try to post comments daily about how this alcoholic brain functions.
Sober date: October 4th, 2005.

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Location: West Coast, United States

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Changing roles, renewed Step 4, Family roles...

As I mentioned, my roommate is home from treatment. She is like family to me. Everyone in an alcoholic home play certain roles, like the lost child, caretaker, scapegoat, and the hero. I have found that I have had to change roles. I have always known that though. Alcoholics really don't like change much, so I don't like it, but I know I have to change my role because if I don't then it opens the door to "unwitting sabotage." Family members cannot see the reasons they have to change. However, they must change. This unwitting sabotage causes too many alcoholics to relapse following treatment. The family too often is in denial of the need for family treatment, or even Alanon meetings. The alcoholic, when drinking causes the family to develop roles that make the family appear normal to people outside the family. When the alcoholic gets sober, the family roles are threatened. I am grateful that I knew my role would change at home concerning her. It gives myself and her a better chance of staying sober a day at a time in AA.
I have decided to do another 4Th Step and will begin that very soon. I got after my sponsor last night after the meeting to get on me about working some Steps and holding me more accountable where my recovery is concerned. I have been sober more than three years and have found myself lax in my program. That's not a good thing. Alcohol, nor alcoholism never take any time off. It is there waiting for me to screw up my program.

  • I am grateful today for having a place to live. It is starting to feel like a home again.

  • I am grateful for my roommate. For some reason her being here makes me want to be a better person.

  • I am grateful for my friend/sponsor who is always there for me no matter what.

  • I am grateful to have food to eat.

  • I am grateful to be in a position to help other alcoholics. I am hooked on alcoholics.

  • I am grateful for today. I am much happier.

  • I am grateful for our dog Roxy.

Thanks for visiting and all of you please behave yourselves, and thank you for not smoking while here. TeeHee. AB.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

It's differen't...

Made a trip to pick up my roommate from a six month treatment center. The drive over the mountain passes were scary as the weather pounded them with snow and rain. She is now trying to decompress from being away. Stepping into the real world can be a bit overwhelming. I am proud of her and she seems to be headed in the right direction. She appears to be making healthier choices in her new recovery. I hope she sticks around and goes to lots of meetings.

If you would like to visit my roommates blog click "Lonnie." Please leave a comment and offer your link if you would like. Thanks. Now about me. I am still sober and I had my last appointment with my therapist yesterday. I will still see the shrink to stay on my psych meds. I plan to do another 4th Step shortly, and would like to start a Joe and Charlie seminar on the journey through the steps. Things are different at home. I am working on accepting some of the changes here. Acceptance is a process and not an event. My ego is sometimes a problem. I will try and smash that. Thanks for visiting...AB

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