Alcoholic Brain

Hi and thanks for visiting. I have an alcoholic brain. I will try to post comments daily about how this alcoholic brain functions.
Sober date: October 4th, 2004.

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Location: West Coast, United States

Saturday, November 10, 2018

Pain, soreness and more to do...

AB (me) am Irish.  I learned recently that my Great Grandparents were members of the Irish Mob.  They lived in Woodstock Ontario, Canada.  This group controlled underground crime  from there to the north end of  Boston Massachusetts.  We were ruthless, and wouldn't hesitate to birth river's of  blood from those who attempted to interfere with our operation from the outside or from within the families business concerns.  Illegal alcohol distribution was a huge part of the family back then...Any member of the  "family" caught consuming our products would be docked pay, and pistol whipped.  A second offense, well, put it this way.  No one ever knew anything about their disappearance...
I don't know why I opened this post by sharing the above information.  Other than I think it's kinda cool to share where one comes from.  There is something to be said about genetics.
In the early days before I joined AA,  I drank a lot with an Irish friend by the name of Paddy O.  Our favorite drink naturally, was Murphy's Irish Whiskey.  One evening, driving home, Paddy was involved in a terrible auto accident.  He was still alive when I got to the hospital, and was able to see him.  He was able to share with me his dying wish.  He made me promise that every year on his birthday, I was to visit his grave site, and pour a bottle of Murphy's Irish Whisky over his grave.  I promised Paddy that I would be honored to do that.  Shortly after, Paddy O'Furnature, passed away. 
On the evening of his first birthday, I pulled into the cemetery, and parked near his grave.  I sat in my car, sipping on the last drink from a bottle of  Murphy's.  I finished it up and realized I had to urinate badly.   I got out of my car and proceeded to urinate seemingly forever, totally covering his grave.  I then spoke to Paddy O.  I slurred, "Paddy, you are sorely missed my dearest friend.  I have just poured Murphy's over your grave as you requested that I do.  What I failed to tell you Paddy however, is that the the Murphy's would not be wasted.  I therefore ran it through me kidneys first!  See you next year!  (I told you we were ruthless).
As far as my move I have another dresser and corner computer desk to get in here.  Then,  just my  fishing and camping gear is all I have left to move.  It hasn't been easy for me.  I am in fair health with some limitations.  But without drinking, I will get done!!  God helped immensely...

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Merry Christmas

Another sober Christmas.  Since my last post a lot has happened.  For about the past six months I have been looking for a place to rent.   I have spent the last eight years with a woman I dearly love.  The issue is we just don't get along very well much of the time.  We agreed back then, that it be best if I would hang my hat in my own crib.  I'm on a fixed income so it's ideal for me to split the cost of a rental with a roommate.   An old roommate of mine from years ago was also looking.   We rented a house about 40 miles from where I live now.  We took it over December 3rd, and I'm still moving stuff.  I should be done by the first of January.  I'm really slow and can't lift very much so I just do what my body allows.   My body tells me when enough is enough. I have had some help which is very good.  I could use more help but pride keeps me from asking.   Sounds like an alcoholic.

On October 4th I finally reached my 8 year AA birthday.   I'm still very young...

Thursday, August 01, 2013

Good to see you...

Almost three years since my last post!  I must be resting on my laurals. Hope I spelled that right.  No, I didn't relapse.  Still not drinking, just neglecting my blog.  I will be fixing some broken links and uploading some more graphics.  I still attend one AA meeting a week and see my sponsor/AA friend weekly as well.  Since my last post, I think I've had two more back surgeries.  Those are fun.  I have to deal with the chronic pain thing, and the stigma that goes with it.  My depression issue is alive and well.  These things are much easier to manage without alcohol however.  Anyway, as always, I'm starting my day with two hours of quiet time and a pot of coffee.  This isn't easy to do using a smartphone!  I will use my computer most of the time.  That keyboard is larger than my phone.  This one finger typing is sort of a bitch.  Ok, got to take on the day!  Bye for now, AB.

Thursday, December 09, 2010

Passion and balance...

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Last week a friend in AA and I went Walleye fishing and caught our limits over the three days we spent in his cabin on the lake. This is a 10 pound fish. The smallest fish I saw caught was 5.5 pounds. Walleye is great eating. It was cold, but we had a blast! This would have never happened if I were drinking. I am grateful to be sober and working on balance in my life. Fishing is something I'm passionate about! Hope you all have a sober December! Love, AB.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Gratitude Month...

In AA November is known as Gratitude Month. Ok I'm grateful I'm still sober and celebrated 5 years sober last October. Also in October I had my 5th back surgery. I am grateful I have medical insurance to cover all my issues. I wish I could say that life is 99% beautiful and wonderful for me but it's not. I'm still trying to learn how to roll with the punches of life and my tendency to implement my will rather than God's will. I will concede that I am getting better at that. Progress is good and I will never achieve perfection. I live in the same place with the same lady who now has two years plus, sober. Drama for the most part has vanished. I hope that you all enjoy this Thanksgiving day, and take the time to count your "gratitude's." Until next time America! And remember if you give AA a try to quit drinking, you just might never, ever, feel the need drink again. AB.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

The New Year

I am really slacking as far as keeping this blog up to date. I managed to make it through the holidays without too much damage. The household managed to stay sober. We had a Christmas with a tree, decorations, lights inside the house and out. There were a lot of presents under the tree. My first year sober, I didn't do Christmas. Instead I went to the Alano Club and ate Christmas dinner with other alcoholics. This year, I managed to stop by the Club and say hi to all and celebrate the holiday at home with those I love. By far it was the best holiday since getting clean and sober. Recovery for me isn't easy as I have conflicts going on that I am trying to accept and adjust to. Selfishness, and self-centeredness is not easy for me to overcome. Having to place the needs of others as more important than some of my own isn't easy. As the Big Book of AA says on page 62, "Selfishness--self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt. So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making."

I am in the process of putting the needs of others first, in this situation. This means I have to lean on my Higher Power for help. I will get my needs met if I can stick with absolute reliance on my God.

I believe I read that somewhere...I hope you all had a sober and safe holiday. I wish you all a wonderful new year to come. AB.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Gratitude month...

November is gratitude month. At 4 plus years sober, I'm feeling a very real gratitude at times. I spoke with the lady I live with last night and was in tears telling her how grateful I was to be considered family by her and her daughter. I have a handful of real friends in AA too. Real friends. I didn't have any of those when I was drinking...Well, maybe one or two. They usually wanted sex or money or both. Some just wanted to drink my booze so they wouldn't have to buy it or they were broke...I am truly grateful that LP and SP love me as well as my real friends. Today I am free from the bondage of self. Today I give, instead of take. My God loves me and wants me sober so I can spread His good news.

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