WOW! It's been a while!

I'll be back later to post in length what has been going on since the last time I created a post!  It will be nice to get back into posting again on alcoholic brain. See you very soon!

Pain, soreness and more to do...

AB (me) am Irish.  I learned recently that my Great Grandparents were members of the Irish Mob.  They lived in Woodstock Ontario, Canada.  This group controlled underground crime  from there to the north end of  Boston Massachusetts.  We were ruthless, and wouldn't hesitate to birth river's of  blood from those who attempted to interfere with our operation from the outside or from within the families business concerns.  Illegal alcohol distribution was a huge part of the family back then...Any member of the  "family" caught consuming our products would be docked pay, and pistol whipped.  A second offense, well, put it this way.  No one ever knew anything about their disappearance...

I don't know why I opened this post by sharing the above information.  Other than I think it's kinda cool to share where one comes from.  There is something to be said about genetics.

In the early days before I joined AA,  I drank a lot with an Irish friend by the name of Paddy O.  Our favorite drink naturally, was Murphy's Irish Whiskey.  One evening, driving home, Paddy was involved in a terrible auto accident.  He was still alive when I got to the hospital, and was able to see him.  He was able to share with me his dying wish.  He made me promise that every year on his birthday, I was to visit his grave site, and pour a bottle of Murphy's Irish Whisky over his grave.  I promised Paddy that I would be honored to do that.  Shortly after, Paddy O'Furnature, passed away. 

On the evening of his first birthday, I pulled into the cemetery, and parked near his grave.  I sat in my car, sipping on the last drink from a bottle of  Murphy's.  I finished it up and realized I had to urinate badly.   I got out of my car and proceeded to urinate seemingly forever, totally covering his grave.  I then spoke to Paddy O.  I slurred, "Paddy, you are sorely missed my dearest friend.  I have just poured Murphy's over your grave as you requested that I do.  What I failed to tell you Paddy however, is that the the Murphy's would not be wasted.  I therefore ran it through me kidneys first!  See you next year!  (I told you we were ruthless).

As far as my move I have another dresser and corner computer desk to get in here.  Then,  just my  fishing and camping gear is all I have left to move.  It hasn't been easy for me.  I am in fair health with some limitations.  But without drinking, I will get done!!  God helped immensely...

I Might Go Back...

I like to start off lite hearted, before getting into the red meat of the post.  "So anyway this stud horse walks into a bar and orders a glass of beer while picking out a stool at the plank.  The bar keep brings a cold beer to the horse and says,  hey Stallion, why the long face?  The horse mutters something having to do with a mare,  saying she ain't what she used be."  Obviously a domestic issue at the barn.

"Did you hear about the frog that was parked illegally?  It got toad."

Ok, since 1992, I have always lived with roommates.  The preface being two people renting is more cost effective than living alone, especially with my meager income.  I am on Social Security Disability Insurance.  I'm dirt poor.  It's pathetic.  Fourteen months ago,  I went to HUD Housing and filled out some applications for housing.  I was warned by the staff that the waiting list is about a one year wait.  I finally got a call from HUD, and was told I made it to the top of the list, and the most desirable apartment,  at the best housing apartment building, was being offered to little AB.  I pounced on it.   I started paying rent on 09/27/2018.  By October 21st, I believe I have all my stuff moved into my new Crib.  I had to move away from an environment that was not conducive to recovery from Alcohol misise, abuse and addiction to it.  With all the illegal drugs being used, and sold there,  I was reduced to living in my bedroom.  I don't know how I stayed alcohol free.  People were coming and going at all hours of the night.  They were smoking a very powerful central nervous system stimulant.  As well as selling it. I need to add that my room mate had been asking me to leave for a long time. I never really did anything to help her and she reached out to what she new out if fear of being evicted.

I haven't been to a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous in over three years.  I see myself in Gorski's relapse dynamic.  In AA members refer to this condition as a dry drunk.  I have to get back on track and get my ass to some meetings of AA to interrupt what could spell disaster for me.  I pray to see some of you in the area,  whilst I attend some meetings.  God willing...

Merry Christmas

Another sober Christmas.  Since my last post a lot has happened.  For about the past six months I have been looking for a place to rent.   I have spent the last eight years with a woman I dearly love.  The issue is we just don't get along very well much of the time.  We agreed back then, that it be best if I would hang my hat in my own crib.  I'm on a fixed income so it's ideal for me to split the cost of a rental with a roommate.   An old roommate of mine from years ago was also looking.   We rented a house about 40 miles from where I live now.  We took it over December 3rd, and I'm still moving stuff.  I should be done by the first of January.  I'm really slow and can't lift very much so I just do what my body allows.   My body tells me when enough is enough. I have had some help which is very good.  I could use more help but pride keeps me from asking.   Sounds like an alcoholic.

On October 4th I finally reached my 8 year AA birthday.   I'm still very young...

Good to see you...

Almost three years since my last post!  I must be resting on my laurals. Hope I spelled that right.  No, I didn't relapse.  Still not drinking, just neglecting my blog.  I will be fixing some broken links and uploading some more graphics.  I still attend one AA meeting a week and see my sponsor/AA friend weekly as well.  Since my last post, I think I've had two more back surgeries.  Those are fun.  I have to deal with the chronic pain thing, and the stigma that goes with it.  My depression issue is alive and well.  These things are much easier to manage without alcohol however.  Anyway, as always, I'm starting my day with two hours of quiet time and a pot of coffee.  This isn't easy to do using a smartphone!  I will use my computer most of the time.  That keyboard is larger than my phone.  This one finger typing is sort of a bitch.  Ok, got to take on the day!  Bye for now, AB.

Passion and balance...

Last week a friend in AA and I went Walleye fishing and caught our limits over the three days we spent in his cabin on the lake. This is a 10 pound fish. The smallest fish I saw caught was 5.5 pounds. Walleye is great eating. It was cold, but we had a blast! This would have never happened if I were drinking. I am grateful to be sober and working on balance in my life. Fishing is something I'm passionate about! Hope you all have a sober December! Love, AB.

Gratitude Month...

In AA November is known as Gratitude Month. Ok I'm grateful I'm still sober and celebrated 5 years sober last October. Also in October I had my 5th back surgery. I am grateful I have medical insurance to cover all my issues. I wish I could say that life is 99% beautiful and wonderful for me but it's not. I'm still trying to learn how to roll with the punches of life and my tendency to implement my will rather than God's will. I will concede that I am getting better at that. Progress is good and I will never achieve perfection. I live in the same place with the same lady who now has two years plus, sober. Drama for the most part has vanished. I hope that you all enjoy this Thanksgiving day, and take the time to count your "gratitude's." Until next time America! And remember if you give AA a try to quit drinking, you just might never, ever, feel the need drink again. AB.