Children...

I can recall making amends to a three and five year old. It was one of the most humbling moments I'm sure I'll ever experience. It's not easy to say I'm sorry for not being a very good daddy. Back in the 1980's I had a friend with three kids, a wife and the fulltime job. He was a fishing buddy of mine. He worked a good program from what I could see. I think he was going to four or five meetings a week, in the evenings after work back then. I got a call from him one day and he asked me for a lift to a meeting due to his car being in the shop. Sure, no problem. I parked outside, and waited and I see him waving at me to come in. He wasn't quiet ready to go. His wife said hi and smiled. We had met before. His thirteen year old daughter was on the couch watching TV, looking straight ahead. I could feel an uneasiness in the room. Anyway as we were leaving he said goodbye and he would be back later. Then it happened. His daughter said, "Why do you have to be gone so much? Why can't you stay home sometimes?" My friend said..."Would you rather have me the way I was before?"
She got up from the couch and began a brisk walk down the hallway and said, words I will never forget. "Dad, I'm not crazy about you either way. You were gone when you were drinking, now you're gone when you're not drinking. I don't give a shit!"

I remember that as if it happened yesterday. Granted, a lot of meetings are needed in early recovery. If you have a family, I hope you can strike a balance in recovery, meetings and family.


OUR CHILDREN

The alcoholic may find it hard to re-establish friendly relations with his children...In time they will see that he is a new man and in their own way they will let him know it...From that point on, progress will be rapid. Marvelous results often follow such a reunion.

Sept. 26th, The Daily Reflections, page 278.