Depressions...

I had a doctor visit this past Tuesday. He says "What's with the weight and the sad face?" I tipped the scales at 220lbs(99.77kgs). I have put on 40 pounds. "Oh yeah, You are only on one antidepressant now. You were on three. I see you have been on 400mgs of Testosterone since last November...Hmmmm"
Lets double the dose of your Wellbutrin, to 300mgs a day." They took more blood too that day, to check HDL/LDL levels and kidney function as I am taking Lipitor to decrease arterial fats. I hate being depressed. I can be a real Bitch. I can talk about all the things I'm grateful for, talk to other people, yet it still feels like I'm dragging a boat anchor behind me. It affects my decision making when it comes to people, places and things. Today I feel like crawling under a rock. I'll be back in the mountains for a couple of days, next weekend. I always feel better in the forrest...With all the animals, bushes, flowers and stuff...
I need a meeting. I need an alcoholic to work on. I'll have that in about an hour. Step 10 helps me with depression, but sometimes I feel like my chin is just above the waterline...