Hi and thanks for visiting. I have an alcoholic brain. I will try to post comments daily about how this alcoholic brain functions.
Sober date: October 4th, 2005.
- Name: Alcoholic Brain
- Location: West Coast, United States
Sunday, March 27, 2005
From 1979, to 1991, I attended AA two to three times a week. I had a good job, a wonderful wife, and owned a home in the high rent district. The 1980's were the happiest years of my life. Then in 1989, a series of events put me in a situation my psyche, in retrospect, couldn't handle. My mother died suddenly, and my wife divorced me...I changed jobs. It was then I stopped going to AA meetings. I felt that I had been wronged. I was on fire with anger. Resentment is the number one offender the basic text of AA says. Thus, in 1991, I returned to drinking. By holding onto resentment, I had lost my sanity. I have struggled to stay sober ever since. I think I nearly had three years without a drink once. The past 15 years, without going past the Fourth Step of AA, have been miserable. This misery has been all of my own making however. I have had to let go of the notion that God had dealt me a bad hand in life. I have been trying to recapture the happiness of the 80's. I was truly happy then. But without a fearless and searching moral inventory, I will never have that feeling again. This is a recent discovery, and that is a good thing. Oh, the title? I see Predators in AA, not many, but I do see them in action. They pick out a newcomer and pursue them for sexual reasons. It happens in AA all over the world. I wish they would stop that. Both men and women seek out prey. They are sick, and that sickness is killing people.