Alcoholic Brain

Hi and thanks for visiting. I have an alcoholic brain. I will try to post comments daily about how this alcoholic brain functions.
Sober date: October 4th, 2005.

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Location: West Coast, United States

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Was too hot to do much...

The heat today is incredible! I did manage to read the chapter "More About Alcoholism" it begins on page 30 of the Big Book. I see myself as the "jaywalker." I have relapsed a lot. I'm still one of those that have to interrupt that mental twist that begins the insanity. My defects of character are here, and they try to rent space in my head. I don't have to drink to do crazy making. That's why I've started..."The Big Push." Daily prayer and meditation. I had a sponsor in the 80's that studied meditation with the Dali Lama, or whatever that holy man's name is. He could meditate and enter into an area of his brain he called the "white" area. That was the only color he saw and he could stay there for a long time. Sometimes the feeling he got from meditation would last him all day. I had to ask him once what it felt like when he was in his "white" area. He said he could only describe it as "ecstasy." He had a lot of sobriety too. In the 80's I had another sponsor too, he was a dentist. A terrific man. I have to remember this one critical point about recovery. Nobody ever has it made." I lost both those sponsors, one by overdose and one by suicide.
That's simple enough to illustrate my point. My life is just a one day at a time thing.  I have no past,  I have no future.  I only have today. Just for today I know what to do, and that's work with alcoholics, addicts, trust in my God, while cleaning my own house. It's a free program. Today I am Grateful for:


  • Tod, for leading me by example, and for his hugs.
  • Mellissa and Greg, for keeping me in touch with my anger. So I'll write about it.
  • Sharon, for reminding me what a gentleman is, and for what she does for the ladies in AA.
  • Fred, for what he does for others at the club, and his hugs.
  • A roof over my head.
  • Air Conditioning! Fans!
  • Cupboards, refrigerator and freezer full of food.
  • Family who still love me. Even both my exwives.
  • My purple blankie!!


See you all Monday. I hope you all had a semi-smooth weekend. Manic Monday is near! Thank God for another 24!

2 Comments:

Blogger Shannon said...

stay focused on gratitude... hugs and happy monday

2:46 PM  
Blogger BigSkymAAck said...

I have come to the conclusion that all I have is right now this moment with no guarantees

8:03 PM  

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