Growing pains...

Having worked in the addiction field, I am now convinced that past and current treatment programs are just not long enough. I will let you ponder that one. In the city where I live, we even have an inpatient treatment center, that does not use the steps of AA as part of their treatment modality. They use Dr. Bob Glasser's Control Theory. Some of you may know it as "Reality Therapy." Control Theory is interesting. It does not suggest controlled drinking. It does promote total abstinence. The problem is that Glasser does not believe that we are shaped by our past. Sorry, Bobby, but humans are shaped by their past.

What we live with, we learn.

What we learn, we practice.

What we practice, we become,

and what we become has consequences.

I learned most of what I know about life were from my teachers. My teachers were my parents. My alcoholic mother taught me how to drink. My father taught me how to fish. The odd thing is, I never, ever, drank alcohol when fishing. That's practically unamerican! I never had the talk about the birds and the bees. No training about budgeting, work ethics and credit management. I think my parents did the best they could with what they had to work with. They had three kids, so just keeping us fed and watered was a handful I would guess. Enough of that shit. This local treatment center pisses me off. They do not refer their patients to AA upon completion of their 21 day spin dry. Unless of course the patient is ordered by the courts to attend AA. I see people in some of the local Intensive Outpatient programs drop into meetings from time to time, on their pink clouds. Pink clouds are a necessity I think. Because when the sky is clear, and treatment is over, the only thing left is AA. The fall from a pink cloud is a painful one. I am grateful the hand of AA is there to catch-n-patch people, if they are lucky enough to find the fellowship. No matter how much treatment one has, counseling, psychotherapy, the antidepressants and prescribed sedatives, antipsychotics, and maybe Antabuse, the only thing left is Alcoholics Anonymous. One could spend millions on treatments, but in the end, AA is the only constant. Treatment ends...AA is forever, a day at a time. After the money runs out for treatment or the insurance, the only way to turn is north or south. Return to the misery of drink, or get AA. Yes, I said, "get AA." AA is the best treatment available today for Alcoholism. It's free. The 12 Step program designed by a couple of drunks. Let's ponder this. If you donated a dollar at a meeting of AA daily for one year, my addition shows a cost of $365.00. I know, a meeting a day is not realistic, but it makes my point. How much did drinking cost you in just money? I'm not mentioning the dishonest life we had to lead while drinking, losing family, friends and sometimes jobs along the way. We may not get our money back spent, but some of the other losses can be regained and or repaired. Things can be salvaged. We are salvageable too.
Off my soap box now. I am a broken man. AA has the tools to best repair me. My doctors say I cannot work anymore. My EGO is crushed. Maybe that's a good thing to have smashed. It is the psychology behind the 12 Step program. EGO deflation at depth. Whatever my truth is, it's cool. I am getting to know me a little bit. So far, despite everything I have done that has been ugly, I believe I have a kind heart. I didn't believe that before...ever.