Alcoholic Brain

Hi and thanks for visiting. I have an alcoholic brain. I will try to post comments daily about how this alcoholic brain functions.
Sober date: October 4th, 2005.

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Location: West Coast, United States

Saturday, April 16, 2005

Good times...Bad times...

Didn't Robert Plant sing that? Anyway, for the past two days something happened in my life that made my depression do a slam dunk. I have always been prone to depression anyway, but this bout was very bothersome. The only thing I knew to do, was grab my Big Book, and a Bible, then jump in bed and cover my head. I could see no light at the end of my tunnel I felt I was in. I didn't want to have anything to do with anybody, or anything. Didn't even want to see nor speak to my sponsor. I couldn't get the thought of suicide out of my head. Finally I was able to drift off to sleep. For the past couple of days I have been this way...Until now. Around 11:30pm, I called an old friend who just graduated from intensive treatment for alcoholism, just to chat. I wasn't really going to share the past couple of days with them...Just wanted to talk. They had call waiting and was on another call with a group member in crisis. I just said hey, no big deal, was just calling to see how things were going with recovery and all. So I made them get back on the other line and help that person. About 30 minutes later my friend of over twenty years calls back. They went on and on about their treatment experience and how great it is to be sober, and all the new feelings sometimes confused emotions, and tears. A funny thing happened. Never did I share what I had been feeling for the past couple of days with them. But during my listening to this persons wonderful treatment experience, my thoughts of ending my life disappeared. I found myself laughing out loud. I adore this persons sense of humour. (OOPS, sorry, Canada eh?) I am sitting here typing this with a huge smile on my face. I almost feel...Happy! Somehow, my dread was lifted, without saying much at all. Funny how AA works. I am so grateful it does...The fellowship saves lives.

1 Comments:

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8:09 PM  

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