Darkness...
Those of you who have been reading my blog this past year plus, know I have bouts of moderate to severe depression. Tonight after an AA meeting I thought I would feel better. Yet I find myself increasing isolated and lonely. I am in a very dark place in my head. The head (Brain) that wants me dead. I have dropped one antidepressant, and doubled the dose of another one. Maybe that's it. I'm in that dark place where I see no future and see my self dying alone in a one bedroom apartment. The good thing about today, is that I have had no thoughts of suicide, and I haven't found it necessary to pick up a drink. Maybe tomorrow will bring sunshine to my brain. There must be a reason why I am still here. I am just a sober drunk doing the best I can today, because today is all I have.
We were now at Step Three. Many of us said to our Maker, as we understood Him: "God, I offer myself to Thee to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!"
Page 63, AA Big Book
posted by Alcoholic Brain | 10:37 PM
4 Comments:
The good news is that you're sober. I bet if you fellowship with others in your AA surroundings, you will feel a lot better -- soon!
Yes you have Today. So glad to notoce your comment on dAAves blog and realize you are posting again! YAY! Go to the Alano Club and have a great easter....don't let (our) head's tell us otherwise.
Praying you my friend. Keep sharing, get that poison out!
Greetings Alcoholic Brain
I wonder if this might interest you;
STEP 3:
If I give my will to a Higher Power, how can I have the will to continue to control my will? And if I don’t have the will to control my will, and can’t control my will any longer, then how can I continue to place my will in the care of my Higher Power? What’s to stop me from accidentally TAKING MY WILL BACK without meaning to do so?
I imagine, this is how STEPPERS brains are altered – ones Higher Power is in ones head and that is why they [STEPPERS] are the walking dead. Part of the STEPPERS brain, SNAPS, and they end up as Bill Wilson Clones [Zombies] – completely BRAINWASHED with BUCHMANISM. John 3: 16, is the only way out!!
Peace Be With You
Micky
Post a Comment
<< Home