Alcoholic Brain

Hi and thanks for visiting. I have an alcoholic brain. I will try to post comments daily about how this alcoholic brain functions.
Sober date: October 4th, 2005.

My Photo
Name:
Location: West Coast, United States

Friday, April 06, 2007

Darkness...

Those of you who have been reading my blog this past year plus, know I have bouts of moderate to severe depression. Tonight after an AA meeting I thought I would feel better. Yet I find myself increasing isolated and lonely. I am in a very dark place in my head. The head (Brain) that wants me dead. I have dropped one antidepressant, and doubled the dose of another one. Maybe that's it. I'm in that dark place where I see no future and see my self dying alone in a one bedroom apartment. The good thing about today, is that I have had no thoughts of suicide, and I haven't found it necessary to pick up a drink. Maybe tomorrow will bring sunshine to my brain. There must be a reason why I am still here. I am just a sober drunk doing the best I can today, because today is all I have.



We were now at Step Three. Many of us said to our Maker, as we understood Him: "God, I offer myself to Thee to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!"

Page 63, AA Big Book

5 Comments:

Blogger dAAve said...

The good news is that you're sober. I bet if you fellowship with others in your AA surroundings, you will feel a lot better -- soon!

4:49 AM  
Blogger Meg Moran said...

Yes you have Today. So glad to notoce your comment on dAAves blog and realize you are posting again! YAY! Go to the Alano Club and have a great easter....don't let (our) head's tell us otherwise.

10:04 AM  
Blogger lash505 said...

I have been dealing with slight depression and it is a bitch. I feel for you.

2:40 PM  
Anonymous Sober Chick said...

Praying you my friend. Keep sharing, get that poison out!

3:28 PM  
Blogger Micky said...

Greetings Alcoholic Brain
I wonder if this might interest you;

STEP 3:
If I give my will to a Higher Power, how can I have the will to continue to control my will? And if I don’t have the will to control my will, and can’t control my will any longer, then how can I continue to place my will in the care of my Higher Power? What’s to stop me from accidentally TAKING MY WILL BACK without meaning to do so?

I imagine, this is how STEPPERS brains are altered – ones Higher Power is in ones head and that is why they [STEPPERS] are the walking dead. Part of the STEPPERS brain, SNAPS, and they end up as Bill Wilson Clones [Zombies] – completely BRAINWASHED with BUCHMANISM. John 3: 16, is the only way out!!

Peace Be With You
Micky

5:53 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 2.5 License.