Spiritual progress and BM's...

I use the Bowel Movement term when I'm in a mood, thus, BM. It is Step 10 time, because I'm in a bad mood. I know I'm pissed because I slept through an AA meeting, and missed it. Of course that's better than taking a drink, but I do get down on my bad self when I do stuff like that. I think what is happening is I am placing expectations on myself. These expectations are not rational for where I am in life right now. I can see by placing these expectations on myself, it stunts my spiritual growth. I see the grateful faces of people in AA and I often wish I felt as happy as they seem to be. I know that some are truly happy and grateful. It's a beautiful thing. I have my moments where I am grateful. I find these moments are short lived. Come to think of it, a light just now came on. I do have moments of gratitude. This must be what is called growth huh? Perhaps these short lived moments will increase in duration. That would be groovy. Oops. Sorry about the groovy. I am dating myself. Ok, time to get it on with Step 10 and you all have another 24, and thank God I have another day...G'night.