I drank to drug and drugged to drink...

In the late 1960's and early 1970's I used a lot of drugs and drank tons of alcohol. The standard night out would be to get a nickel bag of speed and go to the local hippie tavern and drink beer and or wine. I would take a few hits of speed prior to going to the bar. I would have a nice buzz on from the speed when I got there. So a nice bottle of wine or a pitcher of beer was "required" to take the edge off. As the evening passed, I would find myself getting a bit drunk, so I would eat more speed to straighten up. It worked very well...I could party like that for days. I was living with my primary enabler back then. She could only handle so many years of that before leaving town. Imagine that!! It wasn't until the late 1980's was I able to make amends to her, face to face, in Seattle. Eye to eye contact is best when making amends. It promotes humility. Back in those days, I did use a needle. I shot opiates for a week then that ended with bleeding lungs. I spent 5 days in intensive care. I died in the emergency room. I saw Jesus next to my bed while in intensive care, and I felt so safe and peaceful. Then he left, and I took off the oxygen mask and told my nurse that Jesus was just here, and she said, "You're hallucinating." I responded with, "You're a fuckin' bitch!" I had no desire to drink alcohol or use drugs for nearly 13 years after that. It's almost funny how quickly we can leave our Higher Power and try to run our own lives. That's what I did. I left my Higher Power, and tried to run my life as I saw fit.

We know the result of that now, don't we?