Alcoholic Brain

Hi and thanks for visiting. I have an alcoholic brain. I will try to post comments daily about how this alcoholic brain functions.
Sober date: October 4th, 2005.

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Location: West Coast, United States

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

The ink is black, the page is white...

Resentment is the "number one" offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have been spiritually sick. (page 64, Alcoholics Anonymous basic text) Alcoholics are black or white thinkers. To explore the gray is key. Now this is cool!! This was an eye opener for me years ago. I just ran out of people, places and things to get drunk at. But I still got drunk. Only once did I over come the spiritual malady! I had nearly thirteen years without a drink/drug! The outcome was predictable when I gave up being a spiritual being. Then, I just got "dry." Then, it wasn't long and I was soaking wet on John Barleycorn again. I do believe we are spiritual beings in human form. Our spirit is eternal, we are not. We, the physical is but a vessel. Sometimes I do enjoy my vessel, and especially with another vessel. My point is, my will which is struggling to regain control, can only gain control by getting away from my spiritual world. When my will is running the show, history shows, time and time again, that my life turns into fecal material run rampant. With that I take out eight to ten others with me on a hell bent path.

So I approach each day by checking out any resentments I may have. I don't have any. I cannot afford to have any. I'm dead if I do. Period. I have dealt with all of my major resentments through a fourth step, done in the 1980's. The "here on Earth" type resentments. Today, my insecurities and my fears cause all of my resentments. It has nothing at all to do with other people, places or things. It is in how I act or react. I have a choice today. They last about one to three minutes, anymore. Then I always realize it is because of how spiritually sick I am. Bottom line.

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